Thursday, February 26, 2009

Anger Management for Rude People

Anger Management for Rude People
When you have a REALLY bad day, take it out on someone you don't know!

[When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know - take it out on someone you don't know…]

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying, “Hello.”
I politely said, “This is Jason Braemore. Could I please speak with Rachel Carter?”
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me - I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Rachel's correct number and called her - I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again…

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, “You're a scumbag!” and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'scumbag' next to it, and put it on my speed dial. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, “You're a scumbag!” It always cheered me up!

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'scumbag' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, “Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?”
He yelled, “NO!” and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, “That's because you're a scumbag!”

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a “For Sale” sign in his car window… so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first scumbag, I thought I had better call the BMW scumbag too.
I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Can you tell me where I can see it?”
“Yes, I live at 1969 West 35th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front.”
“What's your name?” I asked.
“My name is Don Hanson,” he said.
“When's a good time to catch you, Don?”
“I'm home every evening after five.”
“Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”
“Yes?”
“Don, you're a scumbag.”
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial. Now, when I had a problem, I had two scumbags to call…

But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Scumbag #1…
“Hello.”
“You're a scumbag!” (But I didn't hang up…)
“Are you still there?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Stop calling me,” he screamed.
“Make me,” I said.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“My name is Don Hanson.”
“Yeah? Where do you live?”
“Scumbag, I live at 1969 West 35th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front.”
He said, “I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.”
I said, “Yeah, like I'm really scared, scumbag.”
Then I called Scumbag #2.
“Hello?” he said.
“Hello, scumbag,” I said.
He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are, I'll…”
“You'll what?” I said.
“I'll kick your ass,” he exclaimed.
I answered, “Well, scumbag, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now.”

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1969 West 35th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called CKVU Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 35th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 35th Street.

There I saw two scumbags beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.

Now I feel a lot better…

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I just wanna say.....

You bitches are crazy! I am NOT jumpin out no dag on plane! That is that! So bizarre you called me with this the other day when just a few hours before my boy was trying to talk me into it. I don't know what's wrong with you all but I wanna live, and it is very likely I will die doing that. If not from asthma or a heart attack, then from impact! lol

Sunday, February 22, 2009

por vida bitches

Oh gals. I feel ya both. Especially now. My man is still outta town with 5 weeks left...


How I wish I was able to be with my friends from the West Coast. Tejas is wonderful, but it makes sense to me why people fall in love with Cali. My time there was like nothing I've ever experienced before and it's RARE to find a group of gals in which I felt totally comfortable with. I miss those days of nail salons, shopping sprees and burrito shop. Sad things can never be like that again. It all seems so different now with everyone doing their own things all around the country (and god knows where else!) I miss feeling the freedom we had all those days ago. I say we should all meet up soon!


Road trip!!!!!

Yes?

Saturday, February 21, 2009

I Spy..... what???

Thought of a special someone after watching this video!!!!



Love & Hate

So after reading Cocktales last post I decided to write my own.  I understand completely where she is coming from.  Im so far from all my true friends that, even though I know I am truely blessed with having such amazing friends I feel very much alone and lonely as well.   I can't wait til I can be close to them again.  I love where I am at in my life right now with my career and my goals and school, however I wish I was in this same position but across the country.  Very soon though.   

I think I am finally getting to know where I need to be in my life and it is all slowly coming together.  I have dumped the old and am ready for the new.  I have "X"ed all the bad seeds in my life as far as significant others (bonfire here I come) and also friends....   

Still feeling Lonely While totally surrounded

why do i sometimes feel so lonely even when i'm totally surrounded by loved ones??

i've started on a very new and bright shiny path with my life, and yet sometimes i stop and think and feel very lonely. is this normal?

i'd really be nowhere without my friends, thank goodness for them! i don't want to complain or sound bitchy, but i guess today is just one of those lonely days...

Friday, February 20, 2009

Psycho babble

I loooove this Blogger idea. :)

Anywho... Here it goes...

I think a great way to understand male-female relationships and attraction is to look at how the Greeks understood it. The Greeks thought God created one supreme sex before he created males and females. However, that one sex got very powerful, and the gods started to fear them, so they decided to split the one sex into males and females. Therefore, humans wouldn´t be busy anymore with seeking to challenge the gods in greatness, but they would be on a quest to unite with their other half. Because without their other half they aren´t able to be great and to do godlike things like creating new humans. So, we as human beings are incomplete and the other sex makes us whole.




So. As you may or may not know about me, I'm planning to go back to school and dig into my psych degree. It's my niche. lol. Now that you know this...


can you guys do me a huge favor???



http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp



do it and tell me what your results are please. It'll help me tons and tons. And probably help you too. ;)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Symmetry,he's just like me......

Riddle me this.....
Some of you know about some of the grim and psychotic conditions I grew up in. Only one person in the world knows about it all. And most people I have shared details of my life with have responded to me with admiration, and amazement that I am still alive, and for the most part sane.

It is very rare for me to run across someone from a similar type of dysfunctional past who hasn't fallen victims to the sins of their parents. But when I do, it is oh so nice to feel that someone truly understands, and can relate. Having overcome all that I have has been a blessing and a curse all rolled into one. I tend to attract crazy people, and can't help myself from trying to help or "fix" them. Hence, my last relationship.

I know deep down that man has a good heart, but his head is fucked.He can't get passed the things he's been through. He sees his self as a victim, and because of that, he will always be a victim. Not to compare, because everyone is different, but my life has been just as bad if not worse. I could easily be a drug addict, prostitute or even dead if I had a defeaters attitude.

But, I am a mighty BULL! I will not be defeated. I will not scum to the ugliness of this world when there is still so much beauty left in it. And until now, I did not know that it is this very quality I need in a man.

I could never see myself with a rich college grad from a 2 parent home. I always felt, not necessarily that I wasn't good enough, but that someone of that caliber would not understand my life, my choices, and my family. I guess subconsciously I set my sights lower, hoping to find someone who could relate. Problem is, most individuals who might be able to relate on one level or another, have also let themselves fall victim to their environments. They have issues and/or rely on drugs to escape. And try as I might to "help or fix" them, you can't help somebody that doesn't want to help themselves.

To my great amazement, I have been blessed with a man who is not only the ultimate giver, provider, lover. He is a survivor. He has gone through some of the craziest shit I have ever heard. And he is not invincible, he has had to stumble, crawl and fight for his sanity, for his freedom, for a better life. At 28 he has beat incredible odds. And all he wants is to be successful, to be happy and to be loved. He is focused, but haunted. Just like me. He is just like me, but maybe even stronger. The more time we spend, the more incredible and mysterious our coming together seems. He is just what I needed, and I think I may be just what he needed. Like-minded with similar goals, and even more identical pasts.

He has me so high on life, I may never come down! Symmetry.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Hyper-Mammary

So I've lost my scarf and have decided to wait until fall to get ma titties. In lieu of my decision, I have invested in one of these....



Christmas gift anyone??? LOL

Insanity

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.” ~ Albert Einstein



I was his living definition. I consciously awoke as my steel framed black BMW scrapped hurriedly along the side of the neighboring SUV. My mind was in a scramble as I tried to gain focus and explain to myself what had just occurred. In a panic of realization, my foot became steel as I sped off as quickly as possible to regain awareness of what seemed to be a horrible dream that I was all too familiar with. “Oh God, this cannot be happening again!”

It was a beautiful March afternoon in 2008 and I was feeling great about where I was heading. I had been clean and sober for three months, back in the gym regularly and just beginning a path of focus, determination, and self-empowerment. It was at this junction in my life that I became blindsided by love once again.

One sunny Tuesday afternoon I was approached by a fellow gym member while entering the facility. I was startled, yet pleasantly surprised. He definitely caught my attention and my flustered clumsiness was an embarrassing giveaway. Our quick introductions were merely small talk compared to millions of thoughts and questions running rapid in our heads. He politely engaged in a swift series of questions to which I merely brushed off as typical pickup lines from a guy at the gym. His forwardness was impressive, but it was his swagger that charmed me. Intrigued from a distance, I noticed his focus and intensity while working out. He too was observing the same mannerisms with me. It was then that our curiosities got the best of us. That afternoon we exchanged numbers and that same Friday we were on our first date. Since that night, we were inseparable. Fascinated with each other, we obsessively were unable to let each other go. It was then that I knew I was falling in love.

The first month was interesting to say the least. I remember asking him questions about himself and distinctly recall his statement, “Getting to know each other is the easy part!” What a statement. During this first month, I was introduced to his 15 year old son and became aware of a pregnant ex-girlfriend claiming her child was his. It was daily harassment from this woman including phone calls to my number (which she obtained after breaking into his online phone account) and constant knocks on his door throughout all hours of the day and night. This woman was crazy! She imposed threats to each of us individually as well as with law enforcement claiming radical scenarios in order to blackmail him back into a relationship with her. I should have taken heed of this immediate red flag; however my heart had already hopelessly fallen in love with this man. It was a connection I had never experienced before and would have injected it intravenously if it was possible. It was at this time that his ex-girlfriend could no longer stand to be an afterthought and she voluntarily called in a fallacious domestic violence complaint against him. The police showed up at his job and arrested him on an outstanding traffic warrant. While in jail, a second warrant in Kentucky regarding nonpayment of child support for another child he has was revealed. This monumental event in our relationship started the unfolding of a number of lies and hidden deceit on his part. Unfortunately, love is blind.

During his five weeks in jail, we talked regularly and devised a plan to move forward and put all the dramatics behind us. Once released, he moved into my two bedroom apartment where our life together was to consummate. I was working and he was frantically trying to regain his clients again while working as a personal trainer at a gym in Escondido. Within three weeks of freedom he was incurring income, got a phone, obtained a vehicle and was handling business. It was such a relief to know that all the talk while in jail was coming to life.

As the months passed by and the economy was plummeting, my work slowed down tremendously, his monetary contributions become highly inconsistent and it was clear that we needed a roommate immediately to help us out financially. Fortunately, at this exact moment, one of his friends was looking for a place to live. After spending a few nights hanging out with his friend, added to my struggle with sobriety, my gut feeling was this was not a good idea. However, the financial burdens that we were incurring clouded my judgment and I agreed to let his friend move in.

All too soon things began to fall apart. My boyfriend spent more and more time partying and involving himself in a fast lifestyle that I had been all too familiar with growing up. His behavior was abnormal, his priorities in disarray, and our so-called future was slipping away day by day. Having come from an environment where drugs, alcohol and violence were a norm amongst my peers, I immediately noticed the warning signs he was developing. We continuously got into arguments, some verbal – some physical, while I tried to plead with him regarding my concerns and fears. We struggled with money and it seemed to always be the focal point of our anger because he would use his money on things other than bills and necessities. I did what I had to do to try and make ends meet and I felt as if I was being taken advantage of. This caused a huge wedge in our relationship.

One day we agreed to make an effort to get things back on track. I was going to enroll in school and he would take on a second job. Each of us had our individual stresses; he and his “baby mama drama” and me with my schooling. It was hard. There would be good days and bad, but it felt as if the bad days were empowering over the good and we were fighting to stay together.

One night he got a call from his mother to pick up his father (who he had not had contact with in over 10 years) from the bus stop. He needed medical attention immediately and no one was willing to help. That night we took him to the hospital and he was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. His father is 61. He had no place to go, no money, no food and no help so we took him into our home. It was now four people in a two bedroom apartment and still no money. By the grace of God, my boyfriend got an offer for us to live free in a larger two bedroom place that one of his clients owned. Instead of paying rent, my boyfriend would give the client free training. We gladly accepted this offer and moved in right away. This eliminated a significant portion of our monthly debt plus we still had the roommate’s contributions. Things were looking up! Unfortunately, our situation went downhill. The roommate stopped paying, moved two girls to his room, was dealing drugs out of the house, liquor was flagrantly left out and his father was literally dying on our couch refusing medical attention.

All this was going on while I was fighting to stay clean and in school. I had dropped 20lbs and had not been to the gym in over four months. I was slowly withering away. The final two months was a rollercoaster of emotions as I tried to figure out how we got to this point and if we could ever get back on track. In December, I snapped. I was unable to handle all the stress that had piled up and within 24 hours I had packed up everything in the house, put it in storage, took both cars and moved out. My environment was no longer positive and it was destroying me. I had lost myself. In looking for a savior, I found an empty dream. I was waiting in vain for the impossible.

However, 30 days of separation from my boyfriend induced a trip to Vegas for Superbowl weekend with friends. It was shallow fun. We talked about “us” and how we thought we could finally survive this traumatic struggle for love. We vowed each would honestly try our best to work through our impediments and agreed to get married, move back in together and eventually have children. That following day, back in San Diego, I caught him cheating. His infidelity and ulterior motives were revealed and my heart was irrevocably broken. I was resentful and had animosity towards him and wanted to drown my feelings out. A victim of my emotions, I ingested a slew of pomegranate martinis within a three hour period. How could the man I loved so dearly, my comforter, my lover, my friend, my heart, be no more? I left the restaurant with no destination in mind; it didn’t matter. I didn’t care. I just wanted to go. It was at that moment when it all went black.

My downfall continued three more miles where I finally pulled over. Thankfully, no one was hurt when I hit the car. The police were called, and I was arrested for my 3rd DUI, along with a hit and run charge. My BAC was over twice the limit and I was booked into Las Colinas Detention Facility. It was a place I was quite familiar with. That was my final breaking point. I realized that I was powerless over alcohol - that my life had become unmanageable. I was living Einstein’s theory.

Since that day I have been clean and sober, changed my environment and have been focusing on the positive moves I will do to get my life on a path of success. I have not had any type of contact with my ex-boyfriend or anyone who was associated with him. I have moved into a sober living environment, attend AA and rehab three times a week and continue to go to school. I have lost both my cars, my license and have a lot of legalities to go through but one thing is certain, I am finally free to find myself again and I feel wonderful. Thank God I am alive!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Bad News Bears Bonfire

The date is TBA as well as location, but start saving your bonfire fuel NOW!



The ulitimate chapter closing, man hating event of the year! LOL

The boys have been kicked to the curb, now it's time for their shit to be burned for to never return. This will be a first bonfire for me, and I can't wait to fire it up. I didn't think about the bonfire until later on AFTER I had already ditched a lot of his stuff to the trash, but I still have one more storage locker to clear out that i'm sure has got some good stuff that will bring about a nice blaze.

We've got the wood covered.. ;-), thx Tattle!

xxoo CT

Closed the Condo Chapter

YAY! I'm happy to report that I'm finally finished!! Talk about getting a gorilla off my back!

Dumped and Pumped!

Out with the old and on with the new, exciting and unknown!

Has anyone else noticed that all us 'TALES' have finally ditched the dead weight and have started on a better and brighter path?? I'm totally over-joyed and things just seem to be falling into place for all of us. Hold on tight ladies, I have a feeling things are going only get better from here on out!



Thank You!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I gotta new!

Alright, so this blog spot is filled with rants and I just want to Rave bout my new.....(shut up and let me cheese it up a minute)
I really put my all into my last relationship. Way more that I have to give was taken. I mean this man was down and out. Depressed jobless at times, always short on dough. Drama. Baby momma bullshit. I mean the works. I had never dated anyone with children and I moved him in my place with two. And, his children, God bless them, are wonderful. I really had a good loving connection with them both. They will be missed. Can't say that bout their daddy.

So to meet a man who is only concerned about my happiness, my comfort, my well being, is not only mind blowing, but eye opening. I don't have to do all the giving. And even though its my persona, it is so very refreshing to be around someone who treats me like a Queen, for really tho. Like a Queen. It makes me want to please him, cause all he wants to do is please me.

How could I have been stuck on stupid like I was with a man like this floating around?

Oh, oh I like my new!

Nigga Please, Stop Being the Bitch in the Relationship!

Ok, so breaking up is hard to do. We all know that. And many of us have stayed in fucked up/ unhappy relationships for waaay longer than we should. When this sort of thing occurs, there are a number of ways it will finally come to an end. Most are bad, some are really bad.

As, you may know I have just completed wasting almost one year of my life, on a no good, lying, cheating, single father of 2, life sucking pot head. I will give him the credit of saying he does have some good in his heart, but his short comings have long since diminished any appreciation I might have had for that.

I have been fighting bitterly to get this man out of my house for approx. 3 months. I had fallen victim to the "let's try in make it work " trap a few times, all the while growing cold, bitter and numb. With the new year I had decided to get my life back and be firm and involve the law if necessary. So, again as we were winding down to the last 3 weeks he has to be in my home, and mind you we have barely been speaking for 2 months. I sorta fell into the trap again. Though this time, I did some checking up on him and called it all off within the first 2 days. Why? Because although it was he who asked me, to give us another shot, "for just 7 days, lets see how it goes" it was he who continued communications with whatever new bitch he'd found. So I basically said Fuck it.

Karma, what a friend! She has always had my back! It happens that I have had the opportunity to connect with an actual "grown ass man" who has his shit together. Who is kind and considerate beyond anything I have known in a relationship in a VERY long time. I have been spending a lot of time with this new fella. And apparently had a few monkey bites.

Now honestly, I had no intentions of telling the ex I'd met someone, and rubbing it in his face was NOT on the agenda. I mean he owes me $ and with just 2 weeks left to go he's liable to get crazy. But he noticed them. And asked about it.

I did good , I was calm, and vague, avoided arguing tho, he tried real hard to engage me. But what was killing me is how he suddenly became the bitch in the relationship.

"LOVE, is a special word, I mean you shouldn't play with that..." NIGGA PLEASE! All of the time I caught this man cheating, all the bullshit he's pulled he had the balls to tell ME! I could give a fuck! Love didnt stop him from kissing me good bye in the morning then hopping on Blackplanet to cybermack. Love didn't stop him from trying to hook up with the 19yr old down the way from our apt. And Love surely didn't make him hold to the "7days of lets make it work". Now he's crying like a bitch.

Nigga Please!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Words of Wisdom 2/10/2009

I have a friend that sends me words of encouragement and/or quotes from other people that really make a lot of sense.. Since they make me smile, I thought I'd share them with the group..

--If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -- Catherine Aird

This one had me lmao, but it's sooo true. it doesn't apply to me, but i'm sure we all have someone that fits this description quite well, keep it in the vault and use when needed, repeat if desired. LOL

Monday, February 2, 2009

Fly AZN Rappers, YO

These guys are way hot!



hehe