Symmetry,he's just like me......

Riddle me this.....
Some of you know about some of the grim and psychotic conditions I grew up in. Only one person in the world knows about it all. And most people I have shared details of my life with have responded to me with admiration, and amazement that I am still alive, and for the most part sane.

It is very rare for me to run across someone from a similar type of dysfunctional past who hasn't fallen victims to the sins of their parents. But when I do, it is oh so nice to feel that someone truly understands, and can relate. Having overcome all that I have has been a blessing and a curse all rolled into one. I tend to attract crazy people, and can't help myself from trying to help or "fix" them. Hence, my last relationship.

I know deep down that man has a good heart, but his head is fucked.He can't get passed the things he's been through. He sees his self as a victim, and because of that, he will always be a victim. Not to compare, because everyone is different, but my life has been just as bad if not worse. I could easily be a drug addict, prostitute or even dead if I had a defeaters attitude.

But, I am a mighty BULL! I will not be defeated. I will not scum to the ugliness of this world when there is still so much beauty left in it. And until now, I did not know that it is this very quality I need in a man.

I could never see myself with a rich college grad from a 2 parent home. I always felt, not necessarily that I wasn't good enough, but that someone of that caliber would not understand my life, my choices, and my family. I guess subconsciously I set my sights lower, hoping to find someone who could relate. Problem is, most individuals who might be able to relate on one level or another, have also let themselves fall victim to their environments. They have issues and/or rely on drugs to escape. And try as I might to "help or fix" them, you can't help somebody that doesn't want to help themselves.

To my great amazement, I have been blessed with a man who is not only the ultimate giver, provider, lover. He is a survivor. He has gone through some of the craziest shit I have ever heard. And he is not invincible, he has had to stumble, crawl and fight for his sanity, for his freedom, for a better life. At 28 he has beat incredible odds. And all he wants is to be successful, to be happy and to be loved. He is focused, but haunted. Just like me. He is just like me, but maybe even stronger. The more time we spend, the more incredible and mysterious our coming together seems. He is just what I needed, and I think I may be just what he needed. Like-minded with similar goals, and even more identical pasts.

He has me so high on life, I may never come down! Symmetry.